Here’s why men and women cheat: A biological explanation17
Why do women cheat in their relationships? This conversation gives tremendous insights. The experts on the panel say that men and women have biological reasons for cheating and also a set of biological reasons for reacting the way they do. A lot of people believe that men and women are the same, should want the same things and behave the same, but these scientists say that they are not.
One thing that happens to a man when he cheats is that he feels “alive again” when he meets a strange woman that he’s attracted to. This is because his testosterone is reduced when he is in a relationship because it must be replaced by the bonding chemical, Oxytocin.
For women, their testosterone levels have gone up due to their increased presence in the workforce. When testosterone increases, it lowers oxytocin levels in women as well as men, making the woman less committed to her partner. Women can then become extremely excited about men who are not available to them, and unexcited about the man who is waiting at home.
Let’s talk about cheating. Nobody ever talks about the proverbial elephant in the room of “why women cheat”. Is it the same as men? Are there different reasons? Are they searching for some illusive orgasm or some great experience? What’s going on there?
Well I want to say that women cheat for a lot of the same reasons men cheat. I think that there are some illusions in our society that women always cheat for emotional reasons and men always cheat for sex. I don’t think that’s true. Men cheat for emotional reasons and women cheat for sex. It happens both ways. I think that there’s some cliches in our culture that women only cheat because they are emotionally needy or because,forgive me but sluts. That’s what we treat them like. I don’t think that that’s true. I think there’s a lot of work that has to be done. Frankly the rates of infidelity are about the same for men and women. In my book the New Monogamy, I talk about how infidelity affects men just the way it affects women. In order to recover from infidelity I think we have to take a good look at that.
Guest 1: Well what I see is when I look at the actual biology of men and women there is a difference. The difference for men is when a man loves his wife, when he bonds with her, Oxytocin goes up. That lowers his testosterone. If he doesn’t have strong testosterone he can’t stay turned on to her. If it’s a strange woman that he doesn’t love, or a new woman, a different woman he doesn’t know, if he has low testosterone he can experience immediate arousal so he feels alive again.
Watch more in the video below: